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I'm Precious.

I love you, I have always loved you.. I have let you hurt me more than anyone should ever let anyone hurt them. Thats just how love is, isn’t it though? When someone makes you so happy that it completely over powers the hurt you feel when they’ve done something wrong, stupid, hurtful or even plain evil. Ive hurt you too, trust me I know.. I have to live with that regret every day. I thought we were okay again, I thought wed be together, and then something happened.. I dont know how it did, but it ruined everything. I ish I could go back to that day and change everything, because there’s nothing in this world I want more than to be with you. Theres no way she can love you the way I do, there’s no way she ever will.. I have loved you for over four years, more and more everyday. You love me too, you can’t deny that.. I see the way you look at me. So why is it so hard for us to get it the fuck right?? We were almost there… I know you don’t want to hurt her, but what about me?

i hope i dontwakeup

i have a feeling im going to be forced into treatment

im down ten pounds

im still huge but i was starting to feel bad

now i dont even care

i dont want to kill myself, i mean.. i wouldnt mind if a car hit me or i wasnt paying attention and tripped down the stairs, but no, i dont want to kill myself